“…So make the best of this test
And don’t ask why
It’s not a question
But a lesson learned in time
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life.”
I learned to be grateful everyday of my life. I really am a blessed person. And up until recently, I wasn’t aware of that. Up until not that long ago, I thought it was the total opposite.
Therefore, here goes my last gratitude note this year:
I am thankful for all the shit in 30 years of my life. That is my current age, and there wasn’t a single whole year during my entire life where I had the chance to be myself, in my authenticity and happy with who I am. This changed this year. I can finally say I am happy. All the “shit” was worth it — every single bit of it. It has brought me here. I am grateful for all the tears shed for days on end throughout this year, for all the physical pain I experienced, for the feeling of complete identity loss, for the darkness that came over me for months, for the abyss I saw myself in. I am grateful to be standing, safe and sound and as the best version of myself — the real version of myself. Now I can not just get on with my life, but actually get it started. And now I can do what I was actually born to do: inspire and help others.
This time around, nothing and no one is going to stop me.
“You have to die a few times before you can really live.” – Charles Bukowski
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